Gravity of Love
by quiet-desperation
Summary: A romance fic between Tai and a new digi-destined. My first fic. Very sad. Just the prologue. PG-13 and maybe R for later chapters. Please R&R. Flames welcome.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I will not apologize for not owning Digimon, because I know that one day I will, and when I do there will be Japanese subtitled versions for all! But until then, Bandai, Toei, and those other rich CEO bastards own it. ^--^ But, I do own Cordelia and her Digimon, so please don't take them.  
  
A/N: This part takes place before the old digi-destined meet the new digi-destined. It will change later on. It's kind of confusing, and at times it's hard to know who's talking, but it's still good.   
  
Prologue  
  
I found him. Underneath the tree. His long brown hair matted from the pouring rain, and the blood trickling from his head. I couldn't bear to see him this way. His skin was so pale. I searched frantically for a pulse. A weak one. How could I move him? What could I do? He began to shiver. The freezing cold rain soaked him through. I couldn't hold back the tears. I wasn't used to seeing him so vulnerable and weak. The dark clouds swirled above my head. I was on my knees. My long wet hair fell in my face as I leaned over to look at my crest. Compassion. I grasped it in both my hands and silently mouthed a prayer. I asked for strength, and guidance, and help for Tai. Suddenly, he stirred. His trembling lips parted. My heart skipped a beat as he said, "it's coming." That was more than enough for me. I knew what I had to do. I picked him up with both my arms, and I ran as fast as I could. My feet slid on the wet grass, but I still ran. My breathing was erratic. My lungs were screaming for air. My muscles were aching with pain, but I kept on. The tears flowed freely now. They mixed with the falling rain. Why is he so heavy? I thought. Deadweight an unfamiliar voice echoed I the back of my head. "Shut up." I said silently. "Leave me alone" I cried. The darkness still had control over me.   
  
A cliff came into my view. I skidded to halt. The boy dropped from my arms, and landed with a resounding thud. I lay on the wet ground panting. I could feel it coming. Advancing steadily. "I'm sorry Tai," I said. I rolled over to look at him. A sharp pain in my side made me double over in pain. I looked down on him. We were together at last. I smiled. "I'm sorry, you don't deserve this, Tai." He smiled weakly. "I don't deserve you," he said. His eyes fluttered closed. And that was it. Those few words spoke worlds to me. I understood everything. "Cordy," he whispered, "don't." He knew what I was going to do. "I love you," I whispered as I planted a soft kiss on his lips. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. It was all in his eyes. His beautiful hazel eyes never lost their intensity, their passion. I stood up, grasping my side. Shattered ribs made breathing difficult, but I understood, he told me everything. My crest grew warm. A soft glow emitted. My legs were shaking. I was going to protect him, and I was going to die trying. It came closer. Silently tracking its prey. Lurking in the shadows. No. It was the shadows. Surrounding me. The tears rolled down my face. A million images flashed in front of my eyes. Images of Tai and me. Together. I could feel his pain mixed with my own emotions. It was strong. Overpowering. But I stood firmly. Hope filled my heart. Running. I'm forever running from the darkness. The enemy I can't see.  
  
What did you think? There will be more chapters as soon as I post them. Please review...  
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	2. And So it Begins...

A/N: First chapter. Here we go.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
It wasn't until long ago that we started to notice changes in her. Our sweet little Cordelia wasn't the same. It was just the little things. Her gradual withdrawal from us. From me. Her lack of focus, her slipping grades. Her attitude did a 180. I never knew anything about Cordy's past. Her life before we met her was shrouded in mystery. I wish I knew what was waiting for me.  
  
A girl dressed in black rolled over on her stomach. She buried her head in the pillow. She couldn't let her see her cry, but the digimon sensed it before she could hide it. "What's wrong?" Tilamon asked. "Nothing," Cordelia replied unconvincingly. She tried to muffle her cries with the pillow. "Ok," Tilamon said. She knew something was wrong. Lately she'd been pulling away from her. She could barely remember her smiling face. She missed when she wore her long hair in pigtails. But now all of that was gone. She had changed. She looked at her. Chipped black nail polish covered her nails. She wore a pleated black mini-skirt with a black tank top. Her black lace up combat boots was sprawled on the floor. Her head was still buried under the pillow. Her muffled sobs could be heard. The tan and white digimon jumped up on the bed and curled up next to her. "Leave me alone," Cordelia said between sobs as she knocked Tilamon to the floor. Cordy, Tilamon thought, please talk to me. I want to help. What's happening to you?  
  
I can't tell her. I can never tell anyone. After it happened, I vowed never to tell anyone, to keep all my feelings inside. So no one gets hurt. So no one else leaves me. I'm only hurting myself. I lay back, and watched the scary movies playing on the inside of my eyelids.  
  
We were called back to the Digital World. We were "needed" again. Was I the only one who felt like we were being used? I needed to be alone. To clear my head. The past few weeks had been a blur. I wandered off by myself, assuring everyone that I was fine.   
  
I saw her leave. I knew something was wrong. Something had always been wrong. She just wouldn't open up to me. I managed to slip away from the group unnoticed. I followed behind her at a close distance. She stopped in a clearing and kneeled down by an odd looking tree. She was in pain. How can I explain this? It was like...it was like I could see the battle going on inside her head. Good versus evil. Light versus dark.  
  
Movement. Behind me. I turned my head, a bit maniacally. Him. I relented.  
  
Control. For a split second, my grasp on her mind slipped. This...boy. The serge of emotion that she felt. It...was...unbearable. Struggling for control. This being required further study. He could ruin all of my plans. Elimination was eminent. I need full control.  
  
"So now you're following me," I began. I watch the words come out of my mouth. My voice. Not my thoughts. A prisoner in my own body. He was the last person I wanted to hurt. This was all my fault. If I hadn't... He was going to get involved. I knew it. It showed me. He couldn't get caught up in this. So I ran.   
  
She turned and ran deeper into the woods. Tilamon wasn't there to protect her, but I was.  
  
So how did the darkness take over...? My friends know nothing about my past. I vowed never to discuss it. As far as I'm concerned, what they don't know can't hurt them, only me.   
  
I didn't live in Odaiba all my life. I used to live up north, in the countryside. Near the mountains. In the fall, the leaves would turn beautiful shades of orange and gold, and in the spring, the cherry blossoms would bloom. I was 11, and naïve. I didn't have a care in the world. I was always a loner. Shy and reserved by nature. I grew up in a sheltered environment. I was happy, and I always felt safe. I lived with my mom and my sister. My dad abandoned us from when I was very young. I had learned to live with it. The three of us had a very close bond. It was almost like we were all sisters. We felt each other's pain. I'd always thought that...that the love that binded us, protected us, I was wrong.  
  
A close friend of our family hurt us. Hurt us in a way I've never talked about, until now.  
  
We trusted him. We cared about him. How could he betray us like that? How could he take them away from me? My mother and sister were raped and killed. I was...abused. I was forced to watch everything. He laughed. I cried. I escaped with my innocence. I left everything else behind.  
  
~*~  
  
I could see them swimming in pools of their own blood. I was frozen, I couldn't move. The knife was stained with blood. He held it high in the air, and started again. I think I screamed, I don't know. All I heard was a loud ringing in my ears. Their faces were so pale. Their eyes open wide in sheer terror.  
  
~*~  
  
Before he left, he threatened to kill me. He told me if I ever told, he'd come back and kill me. He pressed the knife against my stomach, making sure to draw blood, and as quickly as he came, he left.  
  
I ran up the stairs, from the basement to the first floor. I ran into the kitchen, a hand over my wound. I found the phone, and dialed 911.   
  
~*~   
  
  
I had no other family, besides a father who didn't want me, so I was put into foster care. That's when I met my "parents." They promised to love me, take care of me, and help me. My "dad" was a doctor, my "mom" was a lawyer. They could give me anything I wanted, but nothing I needed, like real love. I admit that the bond between us was deep, but they could never give me the unconditional love that I had with my mother and sister. I kept thinking that they never really loved me, they just pitied me.  
  
I got used to crying myself to sleep, but the nightmares were torture. Every night I'd wake up in a cold sweat, screaming for my real mother. My heart was heavy from all of the grief and pain. I never wanted my "parents" to worry, so I never said anything, and put on a smile; a mask that everyone grew so accustomed to, except me. But then I met Tai, and all of my other digidestined friends. Suddenly, I had a reason to smile. A reason to exist. Then I found out that there was a girl he liked, and it wasn't me. After that, I found more and more reasons to shut myself off from the rest of the world, including him. So why shouldn't the darkness come for me? Why not? I was ready for it.  
  
I fell on my knees gasping. "Leave me alone," I said taking advantage of the bit of control that I had. This was insane. I cared about him. How could I do this? And just as suddenly as it had come, it left. I felt a cold, tingling sensation as it seeped from my soul. Where is it going? I asked myself, still not too relieved, even though it had left. Then I heard it. The scream that will haunt me forever.   
  
I found my self in another clearing. Cordy was nowhere in sight. She's nearby I thought. Leaves rustling jarred my thoughts. Curiosity encouraged me to take a look. Something jumped out of the bushes. A shadow. Too quick for me to follow. Before I could turn around, it hit me from behind. Then everything went dark.  
  
The boy was too easy to take care of despite his courage and inquisitive nature. Nothing will stand in my way.  
  
I'll never get to tell him. Never get to say how I feel, even if he doesn't feel the same way. I'll never feel the warmth of his embrace, the tender feel of his kiss...  
  
I followed the sound of the scream. My heart ached because I knew what I would find. Since that time, it had begun to rain. I found him not too far away, under a tree. Well...then you know what happens next. So now I'm here fighting for my life, and his. Waiting for the end. Waiting for the darkness to enter me one last time.  
  
For every light, there is a dark.  
  
  
  
Like it? Please tell me. Your opinion is valued. ^--^   
  
  



	3. Death Blooms

Chapter 2  
  
Then it hit her. Hit her with the impact of a speeding train. She fell. The momentum made her skid backwards a couple of feet. Her cold, limp body lay next to mine. The pain in my head kept me from rising. I found the energy to sit up. I looked into her eyes, which were still wide open. They were dark, without emotion. Unfeeling, unmoving.  
  
He called her name quietly, "Cordelia?" No answer. He shook her. She didn't stir.  
  
I did the only thing I could think of. I picked her up and ran. I ran back to the others. I don't know how I got there, but I did. I found them in another clearing. It was getting darker. They looked shocked and worried. I made sure I lay her down carefully before I passed out.  
  
He woke up. Sora was hovering over him, smiling. "We were worried about you," she said. "Cordy," he said quickly brushing her off, " we have to help her." "Tai, it's okay, we're all safe now." "Cordy!" he screamed, "she's in trouble!" "Shhh, Tai, relax," she put her arms around him as he started to cry.  
  
He cared about her. He loved her. Her and not me.  
  
I wasn't going to give up. I couldn't. Even though I was probably delirious, I knew what to do. I struggled to get free of Sora's embrace. I didn't mean to hurt her, but I had to do this, and I would need everyone's help. I stood up. "Sora, I have to do this, I'm sorry," I said. There was no use procrastinating. "I understand, Tai, go," she said. I really was sorry. I never meant for it to happen this way. "Be careful, Tai," she said. I turned and flashed what I'd hoped was a reassuring smile. It just made her look more worried. "Me?" I said, "I'm invincible." Then I turned and ran.  
  
His reckless attitude, his rebellious smile, the way he said it, I almost believed him. Almost.  
  
I had an idea. I knew how to fix this, but I would need a bit of help.  
  
I found her under a tree with T.K. She was in his arms. I knew she'd be devastated, she and Cordelia were close. "T.K.," I said "can I talk to Kari alone, please?" I didn't want to tear him away from her, he could probably comfort her more than I could. He must have sensed the urgency in my voice because he started to get up. Before he rose, he whispered something in her ear. He stood up, and as he walked by me he said, "be careful." I didn't have time to take this into consideration. I walked toward her, "Kari?" I started, I didn't know how to say this. Our various adventures in digiworld had caused us all to mature very quickly, but the changes in Kari and T.K. were astounding. They had both been so young, now wisened far beyond their years. I knew Kari could see things that we don't see everyday. I guess that's why she and Cordelia got along so well. Cordy would tell me about how she would see "angels." She always said that Kari had an old soul..."Kari, I need your help." I began again. "I need you to help Cordy. I know you..." I stopped. She turned her head towards me. Tears rolled down her face. "Tai, I know what you want me to do, and I can't. I can't to it Tai." I ran over to comfort her. "Why Kari, why?" I asked frantically. "Tai, I just can't." "Kari come on, your light may be the only thing that can drive out the darkness inside her." I said. "Tai I can't." she said weakly. "Kari, why not," I said firmly. "You just can't let her suffer." I was surprised by my own anger. "God Tai, can't you see? If I do it, It will kill her." She said with a sudden burst of emotion. She turned and sobbed into my shirt. "I'm sorry," she said. I was stunned. I hesitated. "Hey Kari, it's okay. We'll find another way." "Okay," she mumbled into my shirt. I gently pushed her away. "I'll get T.K." I said.  
  
There had to be some other way. I walked over to her body. Joe was knelling next to her. "How is she?" I asked. "Well physically...she's dead, but she's responding to external stimuli. She just moaned a while ago." "We have to figure out a way to help her," I said. "I know, but what?" he replied. "I don't know Joe," I said softly. I buried my face in my hands. I couldn't take on this kind of responsibility. I felt like I had failed my duty as the leader, and the duty of protecting her.  
  
Tai's right. We just can't let her suffer. I know how he feels about her, and that's the main reason why I can't do this. I just don't want to lose her.  
  
We were all in the clearing. All of us except Kari. I saw a dark figure coming down the pathway. It was Kari. "Kari!" I said wiping the tears from my eyes. "I've come to help," she said simply. She looked much older than she really was. "Kari I-," I started. "Forget it, Tai," she said with tears in her eyes. She walked over to her. She placed her hands over Cordelia's heart. A pure, white light surrounded them, and then Kari began to scream.  
  
I could see it. It was like I was inside her. I could see the darkness. It wasn't working. It was too strong, and I was too weak. It hurt so much. The pain was blinding. I forced my eyes open, and looked around me. Everyone was around me. Then I saw Tai cheering me on. I had to go forward.  
  
She was in pain. She needed help. "Digivices, everyone!" I screamed. We stood surrounding them. A pure, circle of light, aimed straight at her heart. The light slowly exposed her insides. I could see her heart beating, except her heart was black. The light went straight inside. I could hear a faint screaming coming from inside her. The darkness. Then suddenly, with an unnatural force, the darkness was expelled.  
  
Kari lay on the ground panting. Sweat crowned her forehead. She had done it. I looked over at Cordelia, and the blood pouring from the gaping hole in her chest.  
  
I ran over to her. "Cordelia," I screamed. Her hands covered the wound. The blood seeped through her fingers, creating red rivers down her hands. She looked striaght up at the heavens, as if she was pleading to God for help. A blank expression was on her face. I dropped to my knees beside her. The others surrounded us. I looked up at their tearstained faces. I knew the answer right then. She wasn't going to make it.   
  
I touched her arm. I could feel the life draining from her. "Cordy, hold on," I said, "you're gonna make it." I ripped my shirt off, and placed it over her heart. She winced in pain. "You're gonna be okay," I said. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I didn't want her to see me crying at this time. "Tai stop," she said weakly. Her breathing was shallow and labored. "Tai, there's nothing you can do." I was shocked. "No, Cordelia! I'm going to do everything I can for you because I love you!" I didn't mean to yell. If I could do it over again, I wouldn't have yelled. Her eyes were rimmed with tears. She shook with every feeble beat of her heart. And she smiled. "I love you, too. And if I had to do it all over, I would do everything the same way, because all of this brought me closer to you."   
  
This was unreal. I couldn't lose her. Not now. They couldn't take her away from me now. "Tai I have to go," she said. "Go, go where?" I asked, "you can't leave yet." "Tai, I'm needed," she said. "Where," I asked. "Here, in the digiworld, they need me. I have to protect them." "Cordy, please stay just a little longer." "I'm sorry, Tai, I just can't." "I love you," I whispered gently in her ear. "I love you, too," she said.  
  
There was nothing left to say, so I just held her in my arms, crying, until she disappeared. Her body broke into a million fragments. It was the symbol we so often associated with death, sorrow and suffering. My bloodstained shirt sank to the ground. My hands. I couldn't stop staring at my hands. They were covered with her blood.  
  
Out of life, death blooms.  
  



End file.
